Inspo: Walking by Faith in the Midst of Suffering

Redirect. Doors closed. Windows opened. Many doors have closed this week, but as with the doors closing I KNOW many windows have blown wide open. In fact, I can feel the breeze and the light on my face more than ever before. Even in the darkness, I feel the light that surrounds me. I am not quite ready to announce to the world the suffering that I have endured over the past week. In my own time coupled with God's incredible strength, I will be ready to share my suffering and triumphs with the world. When we walk with God, we are asked to do so in complete blind faith. However, I do not think this faith has to always be blind. If you ask humbly, God may show you a glimpse of his grace. Walking by faith is incredibly hard at times, especially when you are hurting and enveloped in sadness. In this state, it is almost impossible to see the bigger picture. You might be asking, "Why, why God is this happening to me"? He can see everything and truly has your best long-term interests at heart. But, I can't see you Lord. Why have you chosen this particular path for me? Gideon felt this way and humbly tested the Lord by saying,

"I'll place some wool on the threshing floor. If there is dew on the wool while all the ground is dry, then I'll know that you will rescue Israel through me, as you said." (Judges 6:37)

Then Gideon said to God, "Please don't be angry with me, but let me make one more request. Let me use the fleece for one more test. This time let the fleece remain dry while the ground around it is wet with dew." (Judges 6:39)


I feel a bit like Gideon this week. I have never required any proof of God's grace up to this point, but this week I feel particularly weary and unsure. Looking? Sure, but maybe not as hard as I was before. I am not wavering in God's love, but I certainly feel the need to understand more about God's plan for me. Patience, is surely the answer I would receive. Everything will be revealed in its own time. When we feel the hard blow of life, it is normal to ask for help and even to question, "Why am I here"? Sometimes, we simply need to be renewed with a drop of faith and have it fill our cup with the strength we need to endure our day.

God's doors are open 24/7. That is really good to know, because I have been walking through those doors an awful lot lately. I have quit blogging to a certain extent. The "me" I once knew is no longer. You will see me writing here, but I have closed the doors to the Virginia Bloggers Club. I am working up the courage to actually delete the blog altogether. I have been "called" back to nursing and will be pursuing my Master's and PhD to help those in the psychiatric community. It is my path to serve God in this way. I have built the Virginia Bloggers Club over the past three years. It is not easy for me to walk away from blogging, but I believe I must. If we are to invite real positive change in our lives, we must also choose to close some doors to find our open window that God has cracked open.

"After your season of suffering, God in all his grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." (1 Peter 5:10)