Stark revelation today. Peace is not something that God gives you or anyone else. In order to get true peace in your life you must be willing to give it to yourself. As someone who is incredibly hard on themselves, this is easier said than done. At least, I made this revelation for myself. All it took was one little dove sitting on an electrical wire to remind me that PEACE is available to everyone and it is for the taking. So, why can't I just reach out an grab it? Huffing and puffing trying to extend my reach....I cannot get peace today. I feel anxiety in my chest like an anxious balloon filling the oxygen in my lungs. Time for a dose of ativan.
"In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you."
And quite frankly, I do. I abhor the experiences that got me here. I need to make peace with those experiences before I can feel peace. I am not sure how exactly. The journey through my wretched emotions has only just begun. As I sift through the muck and extract the weeds, I must be patient with myself. However, I feel I must also make progress. The lack of progress in my life is disheartening. Where am I going? I have no clue, but I want to get there now. There goes patience....good bye.
Today, I saw a beautiful blue jay. I rarely see them and this one boldly fluttered right past us. Blue jays symbolize and teach the art of fearlessness, presence, and being in the moment. ShamanicJourney.com says, Blue jays are known for driving away much bigger prey to include owls and hawks. Blue jays may also be a sign that it is time to develop and use our inner wisdom. I also saw two Doves simultaneously flutter from our tree today. Doves symbolize peace. According to ShamanicJourney.com, the dove is also a spirit messenger between the worlds. The dove is what made me think about peace and my war-like relationship with it. Peace and I need to come together....or actually I need to come together with peace.
The number two has meaning here. I found this interpretation to be quite good at What's-Your-Sign.com:
"The symbolic meaning of number Two is kindness, balance, tact, equalization, and duality. The number Two reflects a quiet power of judgment, and the need for planning. Two beckons us to choose. The spiritual meaning of number Two also deals with exchanges made with others, partnerships (both in harmony and rivalry), and communication. Two urges us out of our indecision, calls us to unite with like-minds, and like-ideals. Two asks us to exert our natural flow of judgment to do what is best for our souls."What does all of this mean? I have felt at a stalemate, roadblock, or impasse with my life. Now, it is time to make a decision and to go forward with my talents. Nursing is still really important to me and now I must take a refresher course to activate my license. My job right now is to be patient, but to feel like I am making progress with my goals of getting back to nursing. I am also looking forward to donating my time to some local charities that I am very fond of such as: One Love Loudoun, Friends of Loudoun, and Carried to Full-Term. It is my hope that you will give yourself peace each and everyday. I will work on it if you will! May peace be with you.