Sometimes the only place to start is with one baby step. It has been brought to my attention(again) that healing is not linear. Bump goes the road and along with it my bruised Ego. How is it that the hardest person to forgive sometimes is ourselves? Take a breath. That prior sentence is for me as much as for anyone else that needs to hear it. There is a lesson to be learned here...I tell myself this. I made a mistake.
I won’t get into the details of “how I messed up”, because we all do. The synopsis is: how do we learn the necessary lesson to the extent that our mistakes do not repeat themselves? We tend to openly forgive others, especially those that we love, but how can we bring that same compassionate energy to ourselves? Self-love has been an incredibly difficult process for me. I want to feel the pain and let it burn.
Suffering from my own hands has become unacceptable anymore and that’s how I know that growth is occurring. What do I hope to achieve by withholding forgiveness for myself? Does prolonging my suffering make me feel better? This is a rhetorical question, because the answer is an obvious no. Here is the truth of the matter: We have a choice. We can choose to agonize over a mistake that we made or we can choose to forgive ourselves and move on.
One choice offers release and peace, while the other offers distress and anguish. The more suffering you endure does not correlate to the amount that you are sorry. Do not continue to hurt yourself and choose to move forward. Remember that you are the spinner of your own web. Keep that web positive, loving, and compassionate. Especially, towards yourself. You are worth all your love and forgiveness.